Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Basics of a Happy Life: pt 1

I hope this day finds you happy and living life fully. It's so difficult these days to stay positive and live in that happy place. I was thinking about this the other day and 3 areas of focus popped into my head (well, more than 3 actually, but thee 3 were at the center of my thoughts):

*Attitude or Perceptions
*Awareness of our Perceptions
*Authentic Perceptions

I wanted to share these thoughts with you, and I hope that you will share your thoughts with me. If you are so inclined, please send me an email to

I was sitting and thinking the other day about what it means to live a good life. I know the specifics are going to be different for each person, but there are some basics that are necessary. So I asked myself if I could boil these basics down to the most fundamental aspects, what would they be?

Firstly is Attitude and Perception! The attitude you take when you look at your life, when you think about your life experiences, is extremely important. If your attitude is negative and full of "why me's", then your perception are going to follow along and see problems and bad stuff wherever you go and whatever you're doing.

We've all known somebody who has a wonderful opportunity to take a cruise, go on a fabulous vacation, spend the holidays skiing… And when he or she comes back, all he has experienced is negative. Instead of eating delicious food they focus on the price, the calories, the fats. Instead of gorgeous scenery, they talk about how cold (or hot) it was and that it was so uncomfortable and didn't feel like they had the right clothes. And everything was so expensive. And the hotel rooms were not all that. And so on…

These people had the same opportunity to experience a great time as the person who returns raving about all the aspects of the journey.

So what makes the difference in the experience from one of I'd do that again, to one of I'd never go on that ship again? Attitude and Perception.

Your attitude and the way you perceive the world is a choice. And a choice gives us the option of shifting our perceptions and attitudes.

Let me tell you a story about a woman that I used to know. She loved birds, the big ones that talk. She had several at home, but when she came into some money, she decided that she was going to become a bird breeder. She made contact with a woman who had many baby birds and she chose about 6 or 8 that she would take. At first, she couldn't say enough good things about this woman and she spent many days playing with the birds she had chosen. But soon I noticed a change in her attitude. The woman wasn't on the up and up. She had agreed to keep the birds until they were more grown up and my friend had moved, but now she wanted her to pay the balance on the birds and take them home. Then she wanted to charge her to keep the birds at her shop. She became more and more angry and spiteful about this woman.

Now here's what was really happening. This woman was a business woman and she had a number of birds taking up space in her shop that were ready to go home. Other birds needed the space and she needed full payment for all the birds which she hadn't received. What she finally did was figure up what had been paid, released a couple of birds to her that had been covered by the cost and set about selling the rest.

My friend was incensed that she had taken the big, more expensive birds away from her and she was angry at being told she had to get the other birds out of the shop. This woman had gone from being a wonderful new friend to an enemy that was trying to rip her off in a matter of a few weeks.

My friend had a perception of life experiences and an internal belief system that was very destructive to her life and well being. Based on an internal dialogue that she had about how everyone else was in some manner trying to take something from her, every situation and opportunity that came up in her life was filtered through this expectation.

So what are the expectations and beliefs you have in your life?

*Are they affirming to your experiences?
*Do you find yourself feeling more joy when you share your experiences with others?
*Are you excited by what life has to offer you?


*Do you find yourself finding fault with yourself and others?
*Do you blame others for any problems or difficulties that are in your life?
*Are you overcome by feelings of failure and defeat when you consider the possibilities of tomorrow?

Yes! Attitudes and unconscious beliefs sway the way you understand your life and your life experiences. They control the possibilities that you allow into your life. For many of us, these attitudes and beliefs were received from our parents, teachers and other adults we looked up to. They are based in our early childhood experiences filtered through our 2 or 3 or 4 year old eyes. And while there are many wonderful attitudes and awarenesses that a child brings into our life, making adult decisions about how to live our lives shouldn't be one of them.

Blessings and Peace,


PS: Just a reminder… you can get a complimentary 20 minute consultation by emailing me at sharon Just note that you are interested in the consultation and I'll get right back with you.

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